Week VIII - Day 6
Wedding Day
So this one time in Juba, South Sudan….
We were invited to the weeding of the Governor of Bor. He’d
been staying at the same hotel as us and was super kind one morning when he saw
me sitting on the patio. He walked up and simply said, “You and Acuil-dit
(sort of like Bike Mike but using his traditional name) should come to the wedding this afternoon at 12 o'clock." I said, "Thank you. We'll be there. 2pm will be when it starts right?"
"No...this wedding is at a church and they will observe the time. We will start at 12 o'clock."
"Are you sure?" I said. "I know how things are around here and to prepare to start functions two hours after the given time."
"Oh no! We will start at 12pm; surely. I look forward to seeing the two of you there."
"Okay. We will definitely be there at 12pm."
Our conversation took place around 10:30am and was interrupted by the ringing of his two phones. He let me know that his daughter was needing more money for the girls who were getting their hair done.
Michael and I sat on the patio and enjoyed our morning tea and coffee. We couldn't help the looks of surprise when we overheard a young man refer to the Mayor of Bor as "Your Worship". We'd been trying to figure out what the letters HW stood for for days after meeting the Mayor of Juba. But, that's another story...
Anyway, time passed quickly and the temperature was already in the 80s by 11:15am. I sat debating what I should wear knowing that I only had one choice - the same royal blue, polka-dot dress I'd been wearing for special occasions. I also found myself daydreaming about the food extravaganza after the nuptials...I couldn't wait to have some roasted lamb!
We showered away the heat that had settled in and stuck to our bodies, got dressed, and called Taban. As Michael put on his blue suit, I noticed him struggling with the button. It turned out that big fella had literally gotten too big for his britches! And then I thought about the time my dad was getting ready for church and began hollering from the bedroom for my mom.
Daddy was in the middle of getting dressed; gospel music playing, him humming along, and my mom in the kitchen doing some meal prep for the Sunday dinner later. I heard my dad from the back room, "Baby! Baby! Come here!!"
My mom went to see what the fuss was when my dad burst out with, "These dog on pants won't button. Did they shrink?" My mom just howled! "No Daddy...you've just put on some weight!"
I'd never seen my dad so frustrated and my mom so tickled!
So, Bike Mike's pants were a bit snug in the waste and he was trying to be slick and leave the button undone. I told him, "Naw big fella! You gone button it up and suffer!" And suffer he did...and me too!
Taban picked us up, drove us to the church and made sure to tell us to get a good seat so we could take pictures. We sat down in the second row from the front at 12:05pm. We were the first of only a handful of guests.
The heat filled up the sanctuary as people slowly filed in. Michael interpreted all the snatches of small talk that swirled around us:
"The man just told that man not to walk on the red carpet because it's for the bride and groom."
"That man is joking and asking why should he sit in the front because he's not a big man like those who will eventually show up."
And of course, because of the area we were seated, the formal greetings were a top priority. We probably shook at least 20 people's hands by 2pm and the wedding had not even started! By 2:30pm it seemed as if the church was finally full and that the ceremony would begin - how naive of me.
Instead of the ceremony beginning, a children's choir performed two songs. They were dressed in white tops and black pants or skirts and a red sash around the waste bearing a black cross and white fringes. The children sang with strong proud voices and did not miss a beat with the choreography. I was delighted to see them perform.
Around 3:15pm, the family of the groom entered the building with traditional song and much ululation by the elder women. Once they were seated, the minister spoke and said, "We will be getting underway soon." I thought about the conversation I'd had with the Governor and smiled to myself. Even he had entered the building at 2:00pm. Ha!
At 3:30, the Governor and his wife (seated directly in front of us) got up to go receive their daughter and walk her down the isle but not before the groom and all of his 15 men. They were dressed in royal blue suits and all were wearing black shinny shoes. They looked hot; not good looking hot but 85 degree outside, no air conditioning blowing, 300 people in the church hot. Yet they were all very cool looking in their blue suits.
Finally, without the traditional "Here Comes the Bride" music playing, the bride appeared. Flanked by her parents and in a beautiful white dress, she seemed to float down the red carpet. Partly because she was graceful and partly because she looked as if she were going to faint and her parents were steadying her. But before we saw her, we saw her 15 bride's maids.
All of the young women wore a peach-colored lacy dress with sparkly sequin. I couldn't help but judge the clash of colors before me: royal blue and peach. Then I asked God to forgive me and tried to focus on the ceremony. Then I saw the hairdos of the young ladies and thought, "The Governor paid for that?!" Then I asked God to forgive me again and tried again to focus on the ceremony. It was very difficult to do.
Before we left for the wedding, neither of us had eaten breakfast so, by the time the actual wedding was taking place, both of our stomachs were on fire. Thankfully, water had been passed out to those guests seated in the first two rows but, I'd already finished half of mine an hour before and did not want to go back out to the bathroom and risk injury from squatting with my heels on. So I sipped every 10 minutes or so.
The wedding took place in an Episcopal church and followed all the rules of service. At first, there was a lot of standing and sitting. Then there was the reading of scriptures - long verses by the best man and the maid of honor (who was wearing a red dress and totally clashing...God forgive me PLEASE!).
If it wasn't the color wars distracting me, then it was the hunger in my belly. I had a hard time sitting still and staying focused. An hour after the ceremony had begun, the two finally exchanged vows. The groom gave low mumbled responses while the bride made it very clear that she was "all in". Her voice boomed and the church cheered.
After the exchange of vows, the minister blessed them and then launched into a sermon! "This is why I got married at my auntie's house...short and sweet." - what I kept thinking along with "Oh God forgive me for being so bad today...and in CHURCH!" And then there was an offering.
I was finally able to get up and walk. I pulled out three crisp 100ssp notes and proudly dropped them into the offering basket at the feet of the bride and groom. It wasn't until I got back to my seat that I noticed everyone else discretely drop their crumpled bills into the basket and do a curtsy. "I'm going to hell for sure!" was all I could think of in that moment.
By 5:30, it was all over. The head minister got up to give a benediction but not before chastising the families for the late start! Michael interpreted what he said:
We congratulated the Governor and his wife and were leaving when he invited us to the reception. We asked where it was located and said we'd show up. I particularly wanted to eat some good traditional wedding food. However, when we walked out of the church and saw a bus full of people on their way to the reception, Michael said, "Nope. Let's just go home. We will not be eating anytime soon." We called Taban.
Taban arrived just before we melted. Michael told him about the ceremony and he said, "I was going to tell you to eat before going but, I didn't want to tell you what to do." I let him know that he can always tell us what to do as long as it is advice that keeps us from starving. He asked us if he should drop us at the reception and Michael and I both said NO!
By the time we ate, it was a little past 6:30pm. We sat stuffing our mouths; lost in thought and me asking God to forgive me for not blessing my food.
"No...this wedding is at a church and they will observe the time. We will start at 12 o'clock."
"Are you sure?" I said. "I know how things are around here and to prepare to start functions two hours after the given time."
"Oh no! We will start at 12pm; surely. I look forward to seeing the two of you there."
"Okay. We will definitely be there at 12pm."
Our conversation took place around 10:30am and was interrupted by the ringing of his two phones. He let me know that his daughter was needing more money for the girls who were getting their hair done.
Michael and I sat on the patio and enjoyed our morning tea and coffee. We couldn't help the looks of surprise when we overheard a young man refer to the Mayor of Bor as "Your Worship". We'd been trying to figure out what the letters HW stood for for days after meeting the Mayor of Juba. But, that's another story...
Anyway, time passed quickly and the temperature was already in the 80s by 11:15am. I sat debating what I should wear knowing that I only had one choice - the same royal blue, polka-dot dress I'd been wearing for special occasions. I also found myself daydreaming about the food extravaganza after the nuptials...I couldn't wait to have some roasted lamb!
We showered away the heat that had settled in and stuck to our bodies, got dressed, and called Taban. As Michael put on his blue suit, I noticed him struggling with the button. It turned out that big fella had literally gotten too big for his britches! And then I thought about the time my dad was getting ready for church and began hollering from the bedroom for my mom.
Daddy was in the middle of getting dressed; gospel music playing, him humming along, and my mom in the kitchen doing some meal prep for the Sunday dinner later. I heard my dad from the back room, "Baby! Baby! Come here!!"
My mom went to see what the fuss was when my dad burst out with, "These dog on pants won't button. Did they shrink?" My mom just howled! "No Daddy...you've just put on some weight!"
I'd never seen my dad so frustrated and my mom so tickled!
So, Bike Mike's pants were a bit snug in the waste and he was trying to be slick and leave the button undone. I told him, "Naw big fella! You gone button it up and suffer!" And suffer he did...and me too!
Taban picked us up, drove us to the church and made sure to tell us to get a good seat so we could take pictures. We sat down in the second row from the front at 12:05pm. We were the first of only a handful of guests.
The heat filled up the sanctuary as people slowly filed in. Michael interpreted all the snatches of small talk that swirled around us:
"The man just told that man not to walk on the red carpet because it's for the bride and groom."
"That man is joking and asking why should he sit in the front because he's not a big man like those who will eventually show up."
And of course, because of the area we were seated, the formal greetings were a top priority. We probably shook at least 20 people's hands by 2pm and the wedding had not even started! By 2:30pm it seemed as if the church was finally full and that the ceremony would begin - how naive of me.
Instead of the ceremony beginning, a children's choir performed two songs. They were dressed in white tops and black pants or skirts and a red sash around the waste bearing a black cross and white fringes. The children sang with strong proud voices and did not miss a beat with the choreography. I was delighted to see them perform.
Around 3:15pm, the family of the groom entered the building with traditional song and much ululation by the elder women. Once they were seated, the minister spoke and said, "We will be getting underway soon." I thought about the conversation I'd had with the Governor and smiled to myself. Even he had entered the building at 2:00pm. Ha!
At 3:30, the Governor and his wife (seated directly in front of us) got up to go receive their daughter and walk her down the isle but not before the groom and all of his 15 men. They were dressed in royal blue suits and all were wearing black shinny shoes. They looked hot; not good looking hot but 85 degree outside, no air conditioning blowing, 300 people in the church hot. Yet they were all very cool looking in their blue suits.
Finally, without the traditional "Here Comes the Bride" music playing, the bride appeared. Flanked by her parents and in a beautiful white dress, she seemed to float down the red carpet. Partly because she was graceful and partly because she looked as if she were going to faint and her parents were steadying her. But before we saw her, we saw her 15 bride's maids.
All of the young women wore a peach-colored lacy dress with sparkly sequin. I couldn't help but judge the clash of colors before me: royal blue and peach. Then I asked God to forgive me and tried to focus on the ceremony. Then I saw the hairdos of the young ladies and thought, "The Governor paid for that?!" Then I asked God to forgive me again and tried again to focus on the ceremony. It was very difficult to do.
Before we left for the wedding, neither of us had eaten breakfast so, by the time the actual wedding was taking place, both of our stomachs were on fire. Thankfully, water had been passed out to those guests seated in the first two rows but, I'd already finished half of mine an hour before and did not want to go back out to the bathroom and risk injury from squatting with my heels on. So I sipped every 10 minutes or so.
The wedding took place in an Episcopal church and followed all the rules of service. At first, there was a lot of standing and sitting. Then there was the reading of scriptures - long verses by the best man and the maid of honor (who was wearing a red dress and totally clashing...God forgive me PLEASE!).
If it wasn't the color wars distracting me, then it was the hunger in my belly. I had a hard time sitting still and staying focused. An hour after the ceremony had begun, the two finally exchanged vows. The groom gave low mumbled responses while the bride made it very clear that she was "all in". Her voice boomed and the church cheered.
After the exchange of vows, the minister blessed them and then launched into a sermon! "This is why I got married at my auntie's house...short and sweet." - what I kept thinking along with "Oh God forgive me for being so bad today...and in CHURCH!" And then there was an offering.
I was finally able to get up and walk. I pulled out three crisp 100ssp notes and proudly dropped them into the offering basket at the feet of the bride and groom. It wasn't until I got back to my seat that I noticed everyone else discretely drop their crumpled bills into the basket and do a curtsy. "I'm going to hell for sure!" was all I could think of in that moment.
By 5:30, it was all over. The head minister got up to give a benediction but not before chastising the families for the late start! Michael interpreted what he said:
"You have taken too much time to get started...you've gone to get your hair done and get all made up and that needs to stop....you see all these guests here - they will not come to other events like this if you use up their time like this....let us be mindful of other people's time""Wow!" I thought. An African telling his people about the importance of time. I couldn't believe it. I also couldn't believe that it was past 5:30pm and neither of us had eaten.
We congratulated the Governor and his wife and were leaving when he invited us to the reception. We asked where it was located and said we'd show up. I particularly wanted to eat some good traditional wedding food. However, when we walked out of the church and saw a bus full of people on their way to the reception, Michael said, "Nope. Let's just go home. We will not be eating anytime soon." We called Taban.
Taban arrived just before we melted. Michael told him about the ceremony and he said, "I was going to tell you to eat before going but, I didn't want to tell you what to do." I let him know that he can always tell us what to do as long as it is advice that keeps us from starving. He asked us if he should drop us at the reception and Michael and I both said NO!
By the time we ate, it was a little past 6:30pm. We sat stuffing our mouths; lost in thought and me asking God to forgive me for not blessing my food.
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