Week IV - Day 7

Talking

Michael doesn’t know it yet but, I began recording our conversations. My brother Dave has twice stated,  “It sure would be nice to know Michael’s thoughts on South Sudan in his own words.” So, in order to get a detailed sense of what he’s been thinking, I began to record him. Depending on how much he shares, I think I may start a new section and call it “In His Own Words”. 

You’re welcome Dave!

As we lay in bed, the morning sun happily hidden by the clouds gave the frogs a few more minutes to sing the last of their night time love songs before roasting them in the open trenches. It also gave us some time to share our thoughts on the events of the week. Just as we began to chat, I grabbed the phone and started to record our musings.

It’s rare that Michael has a lot to say so, I asked him a couple of questions and sat silently for the responses. Y’all gotta know that the previous lessons on waiting silently totally came in handy that morning. I gently nudged him so he remembered that I’d asked a question and was waiting for the answer. So, on the question of “Is there an advantage to having multiple wives?” - here is what he had to say…verbatim.

He began with the analogy of the Dinka wrestlers who drink lots of milk in order to get fat enough to beat their opponent. The men will drink milk for days and get really big. As they gain weight, they are able to use their mass to defeat the competition but, they also cause their bodies to fight in order to save them from obesity.

The men make getting fat a competition. It’s good that you’re winning but when the competition is done, when he’s sick, now what? Some of them -  they die in the process because their hearts stop. They try to fatten themselves and fatten themselves.

You know, to say that you’re rich and you have all this…amount of cows or wives or whatever…there is no advantage. What impact are you making? None. Negative. To me, it’s negative.

I may look at it [negatively] because part of me is on his side (his own niece). People may see him doing positive stuff but to me it’s not. I look at my niece and this crooked somebody may [get her sick from being with others] we won’t know and we don’t have control over it. All his security can even violate women and it’s not going to come up.

Part of the problem is that he “gives” them (the women) away. So, I don’t see positive. Like you saw me yesterday, I kind of did something but, I didn’t feel bad. After we introduced ourselves, my niece came right? You had all these perverts sitting around right and they wanted my niece to sit so they can talk – for what?  I’m like, come, I’m going. And these are his supporters. I’m like get up, I’m about to go. You guys can do all this when I’m not here. I’m not happy at all.

So they have their own little pride. And that’s when I told her, “I need to see these women.”
I do my stuff a little differently. I’m going to shake their hands and say hello and see if they’re happy. Those women are not happy. Some of those women are sick. Some of these little girls are scarred to death[by being one of many wives and having children at a young age].
What about the kids that don’t even know him? What about the women that left with their children?
The difference is our culture. If it were my sister, I’d have 80% rights to do what I have to do [in order to change the situation]. But this is my niece and he has gotten the support of the family already. And that was like a slap in the face to me.

It’s heartbreaking. Even you know I talked to my niece…she said, “Uncle, I’ve been cheated. My first born, I didn’t know how to raise a baby…really I didn’t know what to do with a kid…I just learned on my way.” For many of the women, it’s just directions – “do this, do that”.

Before telling his joke, one of the men asked him why he had so many wives. He said marriage is for the blind. Like there is no truth to it. You just fall and get one [a wife]…so it gave me a little understanding…the dude is sick…you just saying that women are blind and you’re leading the blind. 

Michael Mading - In his own words.